You know, it’s been a while since I’ve T.I.A.d you all; this is certainly not due to a lack of truly “African” experiences. Perhaps it’s just been building and building and today it finally pushed me over the top. No, we didn’t meet a lion on the road, nor were we traumatized by traditionally “dressed” Africans on television (that happened last week). Please, no. But before you can fully appreciate the experience in all of its African glory, I think I should first relate to you our TV fiasco.
In South Africa one must have a television license before one can purchase a television (we’re told—by our very distinguished british co-workers—that this inane practice is also implemented in the UK, so it can’t be all bad; it’s how the BBC—bless them and their brilliance—are funded, at least in part) . It costs about $25 every year, or 250 Rand, never mind that we just want it to watch our movies and aren't even using cable or public broadcasting. Todd did his research and learned that he could buy the TV he wanted at a particular store that issued licenses at the time of purchase. Great.
We got to the store, found the TV, and spoke to an attendant. We were well on our way to purchasing the license when Todd flashed his passport and everything screeched to a halt. As it happens, the store can’t issue licenses based on passports; you need ZA identification and we don’t have that.
The attendant was helpful and told us to just zip on over to the post office where they do (of all things) issue passport-based television licenses (you might need to read that again to really appreciate it). Long story short, we found the nearest PO, purchased a license, and made our way back to the store to get the TV. Todd was nearly giddy at how easy getting the license had been. I, on the other hand, had this creeping suspicion that something was off.
It had been too easy. We’ve been in ZA long enough for me to know that most things aren’t easy. Paying for a hamburger isn’t easy, getting an internet contract isn’t easy, buying a refrigerator isn’t easy, and checking to see if your car battering is dead is really not easy (if you’re us and decide to be completely mental). It just didn’t seem right that we could attempt to and succeed in purchasing a television all on the same day with only one extra trip. No way.
I expressed my skepticism to Todd who wasn’t in any mood to be discouraged by my reservations. We walked to the electronics section and Todd found an attendant. I perused the aisles (where I discovered the iPig...have you seen one of these things?), and waited for him to come get me, TV in tow. But that didn’t happen. Oh, he did come get me, but was curiously sans-TV. He also wasn’t smiling his usual laid-back, care-free grin he could be nearly famous for.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“They can’t help me until Monday.”
“What?”
“I told the guy I had a license, he asked me when I got it, and when I said ‘today’ he told me he couldn’t help me until Monday.”
So. That was that. It turns out that the lady at the PO had told Todd the license would work immediately, but the attendant at the store wasn’t hearing it. Hilarious. My hunch had been right and we left, as expected, without a television. T.I.A.! Oh my word, T.I.A.!
This brings us to today. Don’t worry, we did go back and get the TV on the Monday after this happened, and it was fine. Works and everything. Today’s story has to do with internet purchases, a whole new world of T.I.A.
In case you didn’t know, today is the opening day of Star Trek: Into Darkness in ZA, and our Distinguished British Friends and we decided to make a date of it at the cinema tonight. Carlton (who has actually been nicknamed “BBC” due to his renowned accent, epitomizing what you think of when you hear the word “England”) brought his laptop to the office where Todd and I work and the two of them selected seats and were taking turns paying by debit card.
It turns out you need a cell phone number to complete the process, so Todd entered his number...which didn’t work. This is because you don’t need just any cell number; it has to be a number listed with one of the two approved providers. Guess what? We’re not with one of the two approved providers who seem to have some kind of sinister monopoly on the cinema ticket-via-internet-and-cell-phone industry. This only deterred us temporarily, however, as Ali, Carlton’s wife, is in the highly exclusive cinema-approved cell phone club. We used her number.
This didn’t work either, though, for reasons I don’t really understand. I wasn’t actively trying to purchase the tickets myself, but I did perk up when Carlton mentioned that it was a 10 step process. Really, it takes 10 steps. See?
Here's the process at large...
...and here it is honed in on just the portion completed by phone.
If I was less familiar with the system (is there a system?), I probably would have gotten aggravated like I did when we first arrived and things didn’t work. Now, I laugh. I’m such a westerner, things like this seem positively prehistoric.
After several failed attempts Carlton called the cinema and confirmed seats for us. And, while it may be murder to try to purchase tickets digitally, the purchase price itself is really cheap. Todd and I can see a non-matinee (the price doesn't change based on time of day) for less than $10—total! (Movie prices are cheap anyway, but we use our Clicks Pharmacy card and get a discount) And popcorn costs less than $2 for a size that must be considered a medium in most American cinemas (or theaters or “shows” as we say). And the theater is actually very nice, as I pointed out in a previous post.
Lesson learned: online purchases require too many steps, and I’d rather get my exercise in real life :) T.I.A.!
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