My husband told me that if he was the one who had to do it, we wouldn't be having babies. End of story. However, he is more than happy to let me handle it, if I want (as evidenced by our, well, baby).
Thanks, babe. I got this.
Isn't it funny, the way our strong and adoring husbands will cower at the very idea of birth but will gladly give us, their fragile, tender wives, a lift to the hospital when the time comes? I got one word:
Wuss.
Though, maybe it's for the best; I'm not sure they could handle it anyway. So I came up with a really brilliant idea. All we need is an alternate reality and I'm sure it would work great. Here it is: the husband and wife tag-team it!
Divvy it up any way you like, no rules. You could do an old-fashioned fifty/fifty split, which, just so we're clear, means that both parties take half of the pregnancy, half of the labor, and half of the delivery. You could opt for something a little less "fair" and just do the second trimester and leave the rest of it to your husband. Or, you could be the bigger man and take the first and third trimesters and the delivery. Anything sound tempting?
Here's what I would do: I'd give Todd the entire pregnancy and take the labor and delivery. Before you go all "What witch of a wife would doom her husband to an entire pregnancy?", believe me when I tell you I had it pretty easy. But even still, I'm getting the better end of the deal. If I were to have another baby with an identical pregnancy/labor/delivery, I'd be coming out on top.
Here's how I figure: pregnancy is SO LONG. I don't have the patience for it. Plus, Todd suffers from heartburn on a regular basis so what's a little more?
But labor and delivery, it's like just a day, most of the time, and stuff is happening! No more sitting around, waiting for things to get started. Is it painful? Yes (though not the worst pain I've ever had). Hard? The hardest. But it's super productive! At the end of labor and delivery, you have a BABY! At the end of pregnancy, you have labor.
An added advantage to letting Todd handle the pregnancy is that I could be in super-duper shape to tackle the labor. The biggest contradiction on the planet is doing the hardest work of your life while in arguably the worst shape of your life. Without the limitations of pregnancy weighing me down (haha..."weighing me down"), I could hardcore train for the big day! Todd could gain the weight (a few pounds wouldn't hurt him), endure the heat (whether there is any or not), and sleep on his side (which he does anyway). It's a win-win-win-win situation!
Of course, my plan is not without its sacrifices. Doing things this way would mean missing out on all the little baby flutters and...Hmm. I guess that's about it.
Oh wait, I thought of another one. I'd have to be the one catering to a pregnant person, instead of be the recipient. That might be a problem, considering how good a job Todd did at this. I don't think I could compare.
So, there you have it. My plan for a new and improved pre-baby experience :) If you see any glitches, don't tell me. I'm starting to really like the way it sounds...
If you could , how would you split things up?
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